sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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