I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
