found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
