operation have a gay friend backfired
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
