so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
