i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
