whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
