K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
