Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
