either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
