he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
