Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We just shotgunned beers for America
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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