I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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