my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Floor bacon is actually really good
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
