well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
