i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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