38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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