I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
