I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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