It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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