I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Can I color on your dick again?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
