had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
