So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
