I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
