Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
