just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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