Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
