doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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