it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
