I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I didn't notice because vodka
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
