she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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