The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize