people are starting to question the shark bite story
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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