i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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