Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Randomize
