Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He did a backflip because drugs
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
