I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
