I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize