Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
how can u be prego again
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
