u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
