just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
