She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
