Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sacagawea was the original milf.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just found a bag of teeth...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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