she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
