Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
