Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
