Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize