I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize