I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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