There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
