I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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