Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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