I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
