so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
