my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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