Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
