I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Panties = found
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
