she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
