I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
