Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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