whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
