I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
