K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize