U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
