Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
