she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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